There are often cringeworthy moments that happen as a potential foster-adoptive parent. Many of these can be the benignly awkward things that are said, while others can bear a bit more weight to them to the point of feeling either cutting or at least insensitively abrasive. Sure, such comments are made in a well-intentioned manner, but this typically never really softens the content of what is said. We offer up a reply with a pained smile before changing the subject and moving on.
From what we’ve made made aware of and in our experience so far in the foster-adoption process, there seems to be roughly two stages: the whirlwind of being matched with a child and the drama of everything after, or, the stage that typically comes before that which is simply one of waiting. Sure, there are so many more real things that happen during both of these periods, but once you’ve gone through the piles of paperwork, trainings, certifications, interviews, and a house inspection, everything else in between is just that, a time in between.
Lest readers of this space presume I know what I am talking about, rest assured that I am incredibly naïve about this prospect of foster-adoption. But isn’t that the nature of the thing, especially for a person (and a couple) who has never gone down this path before? And even then, if they have, isn’t every situation and child wonderfully unique so that in every circumstance, we all don’t know what we’re doing to some extent?